Always Have, Always Will
by Leper Messiah
Summary: Remus wants out of the Marauders. Sirius panics. Lyke, slash, yo. (But damned good slash.)


Usual disclaimer. Yadda. Slash.

* * *

"So, are you going to kiss me or what?"

"Excuse me?" Remus turned his head sharply towards Sirius. The two of them had been quietly sitting by the lake for hours, talking intimately, as friends do.

"I'm quite tired, Moony." Sirius stood up, tower over a confused Remus. "I'd like to rest up before dinner, so if you're not going to do it, I might as well leave now."

"I ... don't know what you're talking about." Remus looked dazed; not understanding the accusation.

"Moony," Sirius leaned down, becoming a silhouette against the quickly fading sun. Remus squinted. "Why else would you have kept me here for so long?"

"I just wanted to talk ..." Remus mumbled into his robes, casting his glance towards the lake. "Not everyone is in love with you, you know. Sex fiend."

"What?" Sirius narrowed his eyes, peering downwards. "What was that?"

"Nothing." Remus stared blankly ahead. He should have known better than to share his woes with Sirius. It's true, Sirius was his best friend. But he sure as hell wasn't Sirius' best friend, no matter how many years he feigned friendship. The Marauders, they were a sham. "Bastard."

Sirius crouched down in a movement, leaning his elbows awkwardly on Remus' shoulders. Remus shrugged him off.

"Oh, come on, Moony. The whole school knows you fancy me." Sirius grinned like a keen detective revealing a mystery.

"That's only," Remus said through gritted teach, trying to remain calm, "because you started that rumor last year. You know, the one that continually keeps me from having a relationship with any female at Hogwarts?"

"Ah, Moony, everyone knows you're a flaming ponce. Why don't you give it a rest?" Sirius playfully shoved Remus forward. Remus moved away, closer to the lake.

"I don't like boys, Sirius." Remus took a deep breath. "I know you don't like to listen to anything I tell you, but it's true."

"Well, I know you don't like girls."

"I ..." Remus started to counter, but couldn't find a decent comeback. Sirius was correct. "I suppose."

"You can't be completely asexual." Sirius moved towards his friend, still grinning.

"I prefer the term celibate."

"Oh?" Sirius raised an eyebrow. "That sounds like a challenge."

"Why can't you leave me alone?" Remus finally looked at serious. He was angry, but remained composed, speaking with a frank precision. "Why won't you stop punishing me for not worshipping you like everyone else does?"

"Punishing you?" Sirius looked at him intently, if just for a moment. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You always accuse me of things that you know aren't true. You always spread rumors about me. Every time I ... you won't let me have anyone of my own. It's like ..." Remus glared at the grass, nervously plucking blades, "it's like you keep me on a chain, following you around."

"I'm not chaining you, Remus. You can do whatever you want." Sirius stared at Remus, surprised and upset that his friend would be so confrontational. "I just thought we were best friends."

"Are we? I thought you were James' long lost twin. Or whatever it is you say."

"Listen, Remus," Sirius dropped his voice, "I don't have preferences with my friends. We're all Marauders-"

"Fuck the Marauders." Remus threw a clump of dirt towards the water, but it fell short. "Fuck 'em all."

"What are you saying?" Sirius grabbed Remus' shoulder, trying to make eye contact. Remus avoided it, concentrating on the splashing in the center of the lake. "Are you nutters?"

"No, I'm not. I want out. You know," Remus snuck a glance at Sirius, who seemed concerned. "I came here to talk to you, seriously, and all you do is accuse me of wanting to jump you."

"Well, we're talking now."

"It's too late." Remus closed his eyes for a moment. "I want out."

"No you don't."

"Yes. I do." Remus rotated his shoulders, letting Sirius hand fall defeatedly to the ground. "Stop trying to tell me what to do. You don't know anything about me."

"What?" Sirius was aghast. " We ... we know each other. You're one of us."

"Are you joking?" Remus scoffed, arrogantly. "I have never been one of 'you.'"

"But ... you've been friends with us for years! For Merlin's sake ... you like what we like, you do what we do ..."

"Wrong again. I hate what you do. I hate how you flaunt yourselves all over the school, as if you're entitled. I hate how you torment everyone who stands up to you. I hate ... you."

Sirius could not acknowledge the words entering his ears, and so said nothing. Remus continued, unable to stop the garbled words coming from his mouth.

"You constantly second-guess me, take advantage of me, put words in my mouth ... you use me. Constantly. I really don't want to put up with it anymore."

"How ... how long have you felt this way?" Sirius managed to spit out. His voice was small.

"Years." Remus, clearly in control of the situation, was no longer interested in niceties. "It's been years. Five fucking years."

"Well, why didn't you say something?" Sirius attempted to wash away his growing feelings of guilt. "Maybe if you had mentioned something, we would have stopped what we were doing. You can't expect us to be mind-readers, Moony!"

"Forgive me. I was too worried about losing the only friends I could hope to maintain with my," he fumbled, "condition. But after a while, I just didn't care anymore. I'd rather be alone than put up with your shit."

Remus stood up, leaving Sirius frowning on the lawn. A light wind blew against his face, ruffling his hair and robes, and making him feel terribly righteous. "When we get back," he fought to hold back a brimming of melodramatic tears, "I want you to explain to everyone why I'm no longer going to be joining you. And ... next year, I'll find someone else to share a room with. Maybe ... maybe one day you'll realize just how horrible you are, and we can be friends again."

Remus stood there, allowing his words to sink in. He heard Sirius rise, and walk slowly towards him, grass crunching under his feet.

"Moony ... is that what you want?" Sirius came face to face with Remus, humbly staring at the werewolf.

"Yes." Remus tried to ignore Sirius pained expression. "That's what I want."

"Fine." Sirius bit his lip. "I had a great time, Remus. I'll never forget you."

Remus began to hurry off, trying to quell his emotions. He wanted to cry. Sirius grabbed him, staring at him for a moment. Remus was intensely uncomfortable under Sirius' penetrating gaze.

"Let me go." he mustered, moving away.

"In a minute." Sirius glanced at him once more, quickly, before delicately planting a kiss on Remus' quavering mouth.

"Get off me!" Remus shoved Sirius aside, more resolved to leave. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Again he was grabbed.

Sirius kissed him again, more forcefully, encircling Remus' waist within his arms. Again, he looked for a reaction. Remus squirmed, but was unable to free himself. Panic set in.

"You can't persuade me like you persuade your bloody tarts, Sirius. Leave me alone!"

"I'm not trying to persuade you." he replied, matter-of-factly. "I'm just not going to let you go without a fight." He kissed Remus again, placing his whole body against the smaller boy's.

"For fuck's sake! I don't like you!" Remus clamped his lips closed, swiveling his head back and forth.

"But I like you."

"What?" Remus stopped struggling, staring wide-eyed at Sirius. His mouth hung open in disbelief. Sirius took advantage of this, darting his head forward and slipping his tongue between Remus' soft lips. Remus unconsciously closed his heys, and stood unnaturally still as Sirius delved into his mouth, caressing his tongue for what seemed like an eternity. He desperately wanted to run, but somehow could not feel his legs.

After a moment, Sirius removed his mouth, breathing deeply against Remus' face. Remus felt a surprising sense of loss, and was so distracted that he could not suppress a quiet moan as Sirius began to run his tongue over the werewolf's jaw, releasing his waist. Remus remained still, positioned against Sirius warm frame.

He wasn't able to stay that way for long. As Sirius' began to suck gently at the werewolf's ear lobe, Remus felt his knees begin to quake at the odd position, and he reflexively shot his hands out towards Sirius for stability. Sirius caught him,

lowering him gently back towards the grass, first sitting, and finally laying sprawled on his back. Sirius climbed on top oh him, held up a few inches by his outstretched arms.

Remus suddenly felt as if his robes were burning his skin everywhere they touched, and he felt an urgent need to take them off, or risk a wave of intense nausea. Sirius placed another kiss on Remus' parted lips, lightly moving his mouth dryly down the werewolf's neck. The weight of Sirius' body against his forced him to shift, opening his legs slightly. Sirius pressed into him, caressing his chest with one hand, while the other trailed under the hem of Remus' robe, kneading his thigh.

Sirius simply watched Remus as he moved his hand upwards, massaging his friend's pelvis and stomach, careful to avoid any sensitive areas. Remus closed his eyes, concentrating on expelling the unnatural warmth his body was producing. He couldn't breathe, and felt a warm blush over his entire body. Sirius continued to massage the area around Remus' groin.

"Do you understand?" Sirius said, breaking what could have been hours of silence. Remus' eyes fluttered open. "Do you understand why I couldn't let you be with anyone else?" Remus didn't respond, closing his eyes again, and centering his mind on Sirius' hand. Sirius frowned. "Do you understand? Remus?"

Yes!" Remus gasped, looking at Sirius. He reached out his hand towards Sirius', and intertwining their fingers, guided Sirius' hand towards his crotch. Sirius leaned forward and kissed Remus lightly, while stroking him through the worn cloth. Remus kissed back aggressively, tilting his head forward.

As Sirius reached for the button on Remus' trousers, Remus' stomach lurched intently. Sirius frowned, looking at Remus, who was unable to conceal his apprehension. Formulating a new plan, Sirius rolled Remus' robes up past his waist, further separating his legs. Carefully, he again lowered himself against Remus. Remus took a sharp breath as he felt Sirius' hips against his own, and his heart began to beat so rapidly that he was out of breath, and his mouth tasted like blood.

After a quick adjustment of his arms, Sirius began thrusting his hips against Remus, head down, watching all the time. Remus moaned quietly, biting his lip. Sirius moved forward in rhythm, caressing Remus' body with his own. As pressure and need began to mount, Remus started to slide back and forth on the grass, meeting Sirius' thrusts with his own. They rocked against each other in silence, not worrying about the music of fabric against fabric and fabric against skin.

Remus came first, with a loud pant that parted his lips widely. Sirius thrust forward one more time before his body began to pulse with orgasm. He collapsed against Remus, as they both tried to regulate their breathing.

It was dark now. Remus could see distant lights of Hogwards twinkling against a starry sky. He sighed, unsure of everything he'd ever believed in. Sirius looked at him wearily.

"So, are you going to kiss me or what?" he asked Remus a second time.

And he did.

* * *

Sorry for the lack of rampant field sex, but I started that at 3:20 AM, and boy am I tired. (Wow, it's 5:20 AM now! Yikes!) 


End file.
